The psychological tricks that will get anyone to like you

Bring creativity for your business, business vision, headhunter concepts, business intelligence, mental health and psychology, business decision making

WE HUMANS are very quick to judge new acquaintances. 

When a new person comes into our orbit the amygdala and posterior cingular cortex in our brain (now we’re just showing off) go into overdrive and work together to compute our first impressions of the other person.

Psychologists believe there are a number of techniques you can use to influence this first impression ... effectively tricking people into liking you.

 Here’s how to influence that first impression

GIVE THEM A REASON TO TRUST YOU 

A few years ago a team of researchers at New York University examined the neuroscience of how people form these first impressions. One of the key takeaway points from their findings was one of the best ways to take advantage of a first impression is to give people a reason to trust and value you.

 “bringing up shared social connections is probably one of the best ways to establish trust, and get what I like to call the ‘not a lunatic’ seal of approval.

“Shared activities, mutual acquaintances, common LinkedIn connections ... Remember, you’re doing this to work around more primitive (and therefore faster) areas of the brain, and the ultimate goal is to give someone the impression that it’s not only OK for the other person to get close to you, but that it would be well worth their time.”

 

 Flash the pearly whites with a Duchenne smile

FLASH THEM A DUCHENNE SMILE

This particular type of smile involves contraction of both the zygomatic major muscle (which raises the corners of the mouth) and the orbicularis oculi muscle (which raises the cheeks and forms crow’s-feet around the eyes).

The smile is primarily produced when people are sincere and happy, and is seen as a sign of true affiliation and interest in co-operating with another person.

In an interview with Business Insider, Leil Lowndes, author or How to Talk to Anyone said people should avoid the immediate smile when first meeting someone, instead holding off for just a few seconds.

Pause and look at the other person’s face for a second, and then let a “big, warm, responsive smile flood over your face and overflow into your eyes”.

 Brush up on your current affairs to strike a bit of small talk.

BRUSH UP ON YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF CURRENT AFFAIRS

You’re at a party or a ring-in at a dinner, and there’s no way you are going to start the night by talking about the weather. Expert advice suggests brushing up on your current affairs knowledge as a good icebreaker and area or conversation.

David Epstein, author of the popular book The Sports Gene said sport was also a great way to get in to conversation with a new acquaintance.

“Like it or not, sports news makes for great small talk,” Mr Epstein told The Independent.

“And you only need to know a little to make an instant emotional connection with a sports fan. “It’s a sliver of instant intimacy.”

  

Small favours go a long way when making friends. 

ASK YOUR NEW ACQUAINTANCE TO DO YOU A SMALL FAVOUR

We aren’t talking big favours here, like ‘can you wash my car’ or ‘can you mind my cat for the weekend,’ think small — like, ‘can you pass the red wine’ or ‘can I borrow your salt and pepper’.

Research indicates that if you do a small favour for someone, you tend to like that person more as a result. Really?

Known as the Ben Franklin effect, the reason this works is because we justify our actions to ourselves by assuming that we did the favour for someone because we like them.

Mr Franklin famously said “he that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged”.

So don’t be afraid to ask a small favour next time!